The previously referred to "Drastic Decision"
My ex who had been struggling for over a year with a similar job (or jobless) situation before I got laid off, found a job he couldn't refuse finally but it involved him moving to Utah. He made the tough decision to take it and move. Meanwhile in the months that followed, my fiance and I were struggling with the exorbitant living expenses of California. Applying to any and every job without so much as a "Thank you for applying, but...". My growing annoyance with California coupled with my fiance's flat out hatred of it, quickly approached a fever pitch of frustration and desperation. That combined with the increasingly hard time the kids and my ex were having not being able to see each other, made for a huge decision I NEVER thought I'd actually make let alone consider as a possibility. We picked up and moved to Utah as well. With no jobs lined up and no family out here in case we failed miserably. Yikes.
If it's not THE scariest thing I've ever done, then it's an extremely close second. And I could list all the reasons I'm glad we did this (as well as a couple reasons I couldn't have predicted would make me regret it in a way), but that's a post for another day. For now, we're here, we're happy with it, and we're managing for the moment on a day by day basis.
On to newer better things
My involvement with GoDaddy is now over and GlassSlipperCreatons.com is no more. I did do some homework before trying them out, and I saw the good and the bad but the price seemed so good, I guess it was just something I had to learn the hard way. I'm now completely convinced that the good reviews I saw and heard, were fake or paid for. How a company can get good reviews when they reel you in with one price, end up charging you a little more, spam you to death weekly for the 3 whole months preceding your renewal date, and then double your original price to renew is beyond me. And all that was just with a simple domain registration package, I have no idea what their hosting is like but I shudder to think. And I've always found the Danica Patrick marketing campaign, unfunny, unimaginative, and even though I'm FAR from being a feminist(they helped kill chivalry dontcha know), cliche in a totally sexist way. I've been kinda hating myself for rewarding such tripe with my business lol. Anyway, it's done and I'll never be tempted with bogus promotions to stray again.
Though the temporary construction page hasn't been changed, I'm now the owner of GlassSlipperDigital.com. I went back to my broker of choice, InterXstream, and they took care of everything for me for half the price that GoDaddy wanted to renew me for. I decided to dump the original name rather than go through the whole transfer process because I decided to make the switch at the last minute, literally. I canceled the day it was scheduled to automatically charge my credit card and placed the order with IXS in the same breath. I don't regret it, I was never completely happy with the "creations" part of the name and I hadn't done a damned thing with the site yet so it ended up being the perfect time to make the change. It'll still probably be a while before I do anything with it but at least it's there when I'm ready for it and I feel MUCH better about whom I'm paying for it.
Projects
I've decided to use my fiance's music blog as my first guinea pig on my quest to become a self taught web designer. I started last year by giving him a new logo for the page. He wanted a crest for his name Lunar Storm so I made him one with a stained glass window feel to it. It came out pretty cool but I will have to post pictures later because we have places to go today and I think everyone's waiting on me at this point lol. I've taken the original crest logo that I created and added scrolls and swords to it, making it probably the biggest craziest masthead I've ever created. Even though I'm extremely proud of the fact that I created every piece from scratch, the layout as a whole is proving to be kind of an ambitious undertaking that's going to take a lot longer than I anticipated to finish.
The graphics are the easy part. The challenge it seems, is the rest. Things have changed A LOT since the days when I designed layouts for my old and EXTREMELY outdated LiveJournal. That was actually really easy once I knew what I needed to put and where, from their style system. But you have to pay to have as much control over your blog layout as I did, AND I want to learn how to do this on my own sites, not a commercial one. I figured all this out when I got to the point in my designing, when I wanted to see how all the different slices were going to fit together on a live web page. I figured out some design changes I needed to make for the better, and that I have A LOT to learn outside of HTML and CSS. I looked very briefly into WordPress and that's where the feeling of being in over my head crept in. It's time to learn some new shit. Unfortunately, time hasn't been on my side lately since I just recently started working full time again. After 16 months, I think my body is taking it's sweet time in getting back into the habit. I'm hoping to adjust again soon because I haven't had the energy to do anything after work since I started. And it's not even a hard back breaking job lol. Maybe I'm just getting old?
And the obvious
I changed the name of this blog...because I felt like it and it was just time.
I think that's enough for now and it's time to go anyways. So as my 10 year old would say, late.
Showing posts with label unemployment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unemployment. Show all posts
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Saturday, June 25, 2011
The perpetual unknown...
I haven't updated in a few months and as much as I wish I could say so much has happened, I can't. Nothing has happened. Nothing really good anyway.
The bad...
I've applied for damn near every job on this side of the SFV that I totally qualified for, and a fair bit that I only marginally qualified for. I've applied for retail jobs. I've checked in with the temp agencies to make sure they haven't forgotten about me. Out of pure desperation, I've even applied for cleaning jobs--one at Molly Maid and another at an apartment complex resetting furnished apartments between tenants. I've spammed my resume all over the place and I've lost track of how many profiles I've set up on job search sites. Enough to become a victim of identity theft soon to be sure. My truck lost a caliper bolt and there's metal showing on one of the front tires so it's been parked. But even if that stuff were fixed, because of the whole budget mess, I haven't been able to apply for the CAP program as the services were suspended pending budget resolution. My check engine light is on which is an automatic fail for smog. The program is set to start back up in July but my tags expire next Saturday so now I have to go pay for an extension. And the best yet, my tax refund cushion, is basically gone. Every time I wrote the rent check, it ate away a chunk that could not be replenished with neither my mine nor my fiance's UI, or my ex's child support payments.
The bad...
I've applied for damn near every job on this side of the SFV that I totally qualified for, and a fair bit that I only marginally qualified for. I've applied for retail jobs. I've checked in with the temp agencies to make sure they haven't forgotten about me. Out of pure desperation, I've even applied for cleaning jobs--one at Molly Maid and another at an apartment complex resetting furnished apartments between tenants. I've spammed my resume all over the place and I've lost track of how many profiles I've set up on job search sites. Enough to become a victim of identity theft soon to be sure. My truck lost a caliper bolt and there's metal showing on one of the front tires so it's been parked. But even if that stuff were fixed, because of the whole budget mess, I haven't been able to apply for the CAP program as the services were suspended pending budget resolution. My check engine light is on which is an automatic fail for smog. The program is set to start back up in July but my tags expire next Saturday so now I have to go pay for an extension. And the best yet, my tax refund cushion, is basically gone. Every time I wrote the rent check, it ate away a chunk that could not be replenished with neither my mine nor my fiance's UI, or my ex's child support payments.
The good...
I've still been plugging away at the whole web design thing...but I'm a long way off from even having a portfolio of charity work put together, let alone making any money at it. We're not in danger of eviction...but we'll have to start paying the rent late within a few months as the money dwindles further. And that will cost an extra $60 a month we already don't have. It's a miracle I'm getting any sleep at night when even the good points have a "but" in them.
But speaking of sleep, I went insomniac for about a solid week over a drastic decision that I'm sincerely hoping will be the solution to all this, this...I don't even know what to call it...this mire of crushing hopelessness and calamity we've been stuck in? I've actually been thinking of this option for quite a while now but always dismissed it as insane and generally bad all around. I thought my reasons for not considering it, were solid at the time, but I hit a wall a few weeks ago. I reached and exceeded my limit for anxiety, stress, and flat out fear when I couldn't even get the Molly Maid job. The thought that I couldn't even get paid to do something I have to do at home for free was enough to break me down completely. I began questioning my reasons and found that they were less solid and more sentimental.
Anybody who knows me, knows sentimentality is one of my most self-crippling traits. This would definitely not be the first time I've allowed a bad situation to continue because of an attachment to some arbitrary aspect that was nearly meaningless to others. And in this case, I have definitely been projecting my sentimentality onto others. Since giving voice to the option, I've come to find out that I'm the only one who thought it was insane and bad. Which only served to make me question my reasons more and come to terms with the fact that we are gonna do this shit. It has evolved and crossed over from hypothetical-research-land to absolute-planning-ville. The only people who don't like it, have not been able to provide any solid reasons why...only sentimental ones.
I'm hesitant to say what it is (though I'm sure it's fairly obvious) for goofy superstitious reasons. It just seems like every hope I've posted about in this blog has been mercilessly crushed by some odd obstacle that has turned up just to thwart me. When I feel I can say more, I will. For now, the blog hiatus will most likely continue as I won't have much time for playing with makeup or Photoshop. I just hope I haven't tempted anything by saying as much as I have, to incur the wrath of the Jinx. This is too major and the contingency plan, should this one fail, is THE last thing I want to do...again.
I've still been plugging away at the whole web design thing...but I'm a long way off from even having a portfolio of charity work put together, let alone making any money at it. We're not in danger of eviction...but we'll have to start paying the rent late within a few months as the money dwindles further. And that will cost an extra $60 a month we already don't have. It's a miracle I'm getting any sleep at night when even the good points have a "but" in them.
But speaking of sleep, I went insomniac for about a solid week over a drastic decision that I'm sincerely hoping will be the solution to all this, this...I don't even know what to call it...this mire of crushing hopelessness and calamity we've been stuck in? I've actually been thinking of this option for quite a while now but always dismissed it as insane and generally bad all around. I thought my reasons for not considering it, were solid at the time, but I hit a wall a few weeks ago. I reached and exceeded my limit for anxiety, stress, and flat out fear when I couldn't even get the Molly Maid job. The thought that I couldn't even get paid to do something I have to do at home for free was enough to break me down completely. I began questioning my reasons and found that they were less solid and more sentimental.
Anybody who knows me, knows sentimentality is one of my most self-crippling traits. This would definitely not be the first time I've allowed a bad situation to continue because of an attachment to some arbitrary aspect that was nearly meaningless to others. And in this case, I have definitely been projecting my sentimentality onto others. Since giving voice to the option, I've come to find out that I'm the only one who thought it was insane and bad. Which only served to make me question my reasons more and come to terms with the fact that we are gonna do this shit. It has evolved and crossed over from hypothetical-research-land to absolute-planning-ville. The only people who don't like it, have not been able to provide any solid reasons why...only sentimental ones.
I'm hesitant to say what it is (though I'm sure it's fairly obvious) for goofy superstitious reasons. It just seems like every hope I've posted about in this blog has been mercilessly crushed by some odd obstacle that has turned up just to thwart me. When I feel I can say more, I will. For now, the blog hiatus will most likely continue as I won't have much time for playing with makeup or Photoshop. I just hope I haven't tempted anything by saying as much as I have, to incur the wrath of the Jinx. This is too major and the contingency plan, should this one fail, is THE last thing I want to do...again.
Monday, October 25, 2010
The Blahs
I don't know what it is about getting a late start to the day that just throws everything totally off. I woke up late, the kids only just barely made it to school. Then I stopped to eat and wait for the bank to open since I got my first unemployment check over the weekend. I came back home and haven't done much since.
With the recent absence of the 11 year old routine of getting up and going to work on the other side of the valley every morning, I've developed a new routine over the past 3 weeks. By now I've had my tea, breakfast, the dishes washed, the bed made, emails checked, my Farmville farmed, and I've already been at Project Purge (and I know I still haven't explained, I was going to today but I really must get off the computer and get to the doing before the day is over) for at least a half hour. But here it is, lunch time, my fiance will be home from work soon, and I haven't even had my morning tea yet.
I'm going to go ahead and blame it on this nutty wind we're having today...if for no other reason than because the display and lights, on my cable box and router were flashing and blinking in an extremely weird twitchy way when I got home from the bank. Every thing else was ok but the tv said there was some sort of power outage. I think I'm having a bit of a power outage today too...too bad I don't have a reboot procedure like they do. Hmmmmn I wonder if I have the tea now, will it help?
Eh, tomorrow will be better. I hope.
With the recent absence of the 11 year old routine of getting up and going to work on the other side of the valley every morning, I've developed a new routine over the past 3 weeks. By now I've had my tea, breakfast, the dishes washed, the bed made, emails checked, my Farmville farmed, and I've already been at Project Purge (and I know I still haven't explained, I was going to today but I really must get off the computer and get to the doing before the day is over) for at least a half hour. But here it is, lunch time, my fiance will be home from work soon, and I haven't even had my morning tea yet.
I'm going to go ahead and blame it on this nutty wind we're having today...if for no other reason than because the display and lights, on my cable box and router were flashing and blinking in an extremely weird twitchy way when I got home from the bank. Every thing else was ok but the tv said there was some sort of power outage. I think I'm having a bit of a power outage today too...too bad I don't have a reboot procedure like they do. Hmmmmn I wonder if I have the tea now, will it help?
Eh, tomorrow will be better. I hope.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Still a little haunted
It's been 10 days now and I'm still not quite used to this. Last night I had a weird dream that I was still sneaking into work. I managed to hoard reports and things off my desk that I was responsible for, in a back store room. Nobody knew I was in there and I was afraid to come out lest someone should see me and pity me. And then suddenly I gathered my courage and ran out the door leaving it all behind. It felt pretty liberating in the dream but when I woke up, I felt disturbed that I should still over a week later, be having dreams about it. But then again, 11 years is a damned long time to work somewhere and there were several people I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to, so I guess it's not so abnormal that I haven't completely emotionally let go of that place or my former duties there. And it's just weird altogether to be home and actually have time on my hands...I haven't taken a proper vacation in, ever. I've had a week off to go visit family in Miami during the holidays before, but I don't count that because it's always with my parents, the kids, and about 10 times the stress I normally had staying home. Plus, it's been like 4 years since the last time. I've never been able to take off and just go somewhere pretty to disconnect for a week. The closest I've come to that is ComicCon '07 & '08 and that's only because the kids didn't go with me. This feels like I'm on maternity leave again but I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I'm not going back in a couple months this time. That and, I'm definitely not pregnant right now haha.
It's just odd and I'm trying to stay busy while struggling to get used to this abstract concept of "free time". I'm wondering when the novelty will wear off. Last week, I obsessively cleaned my kitchen and the boys' bedroom. This week I plan on tackling some still unpacked boxes that I never got around to since my move in March, my fiance's stuff which I also still haven't gotten around to finding a place for since August, and my desk which is as always, a general disaster area. I'm definitely taking some hard earned me time to sort out all the crap that I never got around to doing while I had a job, so that I can actually do the things I enjoy like reading, crafts, graphics, etc, guilt free. It wasn't completely guilt free yet because there are many other things that still need doing before I'm satisfied with the state of my home but, I played with my make up last night and did a pretty dark purple look using mostly MAC pigments. I took pictures but I don't have time to see if any of them are usable right now so that will be a post for later.
In the meantime, not much else of note has happened yet. I received my first continued claim form...it's not to be mailed back until the 17th which means I probably won't see my first UI check till the end of next week, oh joy. I still haven't received my severance check yet so I'll have to make a phone call if it doesn't come by tomorrow since the "...before the 8th day..." period since I signed the agreement has officially lapsed. I did my mandatory registration with CalJobs and found a perfect graphic design internship but I don't meet the qualifications because even though I'm enrolled in Art School, I'm not currently taking any classes and I can't take any classes until I find out whether it puts my UI at risk or not to do so. Plus, I'm familiar with Photoshop but Illustrator is still weird to me. I have it but I haven't played with it much and the internship stated experience with it as a requirement...right now I'm not even all that confident in my Photoshop skills since I haven't touched it in 3 years. I need to get this place cleaned up so I can give myself a thorough refresher on everything before claiming to have experience with any of it on an actual job/internship interview.
Aaaaaaaand that's it I think. I'll be back to babble some more when something actually happens. Or when I'm feeling chatty again, whichever comes first hehe. I'll also finish setting up my blogger profile and arranging things as I have time...it's driving me nuts not having it all customized already haha.
It's just odd and I'm trying to stay busy while struggling to get used to this abstract concept of "free time". I'm wondering when the novelty will wear off. Last week, I obsessively cleaned my kitchen and the boys' bedroom. This week I plan on tackling some still unpacked boxes that I never got around to since my move in March, my fiance's stuff which I also still haven't gotten around to finding a place for since August, and my desk which is as always, a general disaster area. I'm definitely taking some hard earned me time to sort out all the crap that I never got around to doing while I had a job, so that I can actually do the things I enjoy like reading, crafts, graphics, etc, guilt free. It wasn't completely guilt free yet because there are many other things that still need doing before I'm satisfied with the state of my home but, I played with my make up last night and did a pretty dark purple look using mostly MAC pigments. I took pictures but I don't have time to see if any of them are usable right now so that will be a post for later.
In the meantime, not much else of note has happened yet. I received my first continued claim form...it's not to be mailed back until the 17th which means I probably won't see my first UI check till the end of next week, oh joy. I still haven't received my severance check yet so I'll have to make a phone call if it doesn't come by tomorrow since the "...before the 8th day..." period since I signed the agreement has officially lapsed. I did my mandatory registration with CalJobs and found a perfect graphic design internship but I don't meet the qualifications because even though I'm enrolled in Art School, I'm not currently taking any classes and I can't take any classes until I find out whether it puts my UI at risk or not to do so. Plus, I'm familiar with Photoshop but Illustrator is still weird to me. I have it but I haven't played with it much and the internship stated experience with it as a requirement...right now I'm not even all that confident in my Photoshop skills since I haven't touched it in 3 years. I need to get this place cleaned up so I can give myself a thorough refresher on everything before claiming to have experience with any of it on an actual job/internship interview.
Aaaaaaaand that's it I think. I'll be back to babble some more when something actually happens. Or when I'm feeling chatty again, whichever comes first hehe. I'll also finish setting up my blogger profile and arranging things as I have time...it's driving me nuts not having it all customized already haha.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Ok, so now what?
It's been the question of the week. Exactly one week ago today, I got laid off of a job I'd had for the last 11 years and 1 month. Right about this time last week, I was laid out on the couch with a migraine so severe I couldn't keep water down, trying to recover from the shock. In a way, I saw it coming. The small family owned company I worked for was purchased by a much larger billion dollar company. They promised nothing would change and big surprise, they lied. Working in accounts payable/receivable, naturally mine would be the first position to be taken over by someone (getting paid much less I'm sure) located in another small facility that will within 2 years, slowly absorb the company I worked for completely.
The question is, what do I do now? I hate accounting. Always have, always will. But it's what I got stuck doing because it paid the bills. I started working full time in accounting the first Monday after my high school graduation and haven't deviated since. Well no, I take that back...I ran away to Illinois for a couple years after high school and worked front desk at a Holiday Inn in Elmhurst but it was still full time and I can safely say that I hated that even more than I hate accounting. When I came back to California, I returned to my previous employer and after a couple years they downsized and I found myself in the same position I'm in now, though I didn't have children then. It was the first time I'd even been without a job since graduating high school so I panicked and frantically searched for a new job in the same field despite the fact that I hated it. That's when I came across my last job and that's where I've been for over a decade.
It wasn't a bad place to work. For the most part I was left alone to do my job in peace and the people became extended family. I just didn't like the work. I'm a creative soul and without an outlet, it feels like something is missing. I used to do crafts and teach myself things like Photoshop, HTML, CSS, etc using free online resources in my free time (and yes, even on work time when I could get away with it hehe) but then I had kids and my free time was over. And my mind was now even more overly preoccupied with money to actually retain very much of what I was able to squeeze in at work. And since I left my kids' dad almost 4 years ago, I haven't had the time or the energy to do a single creative thing. Not a sketch, not an icon, not a thing.
At least I managed to find my soulmate hehe. He's perfect for me in every way and I adore him more and more every day. And my ex seems to have found his AND I like her haha. I trust her with my kids and we all have a very harmonious relationship in regards to the kids. And I can't tell you how much of a relief it is not to be going through the drama and the garbage that most people my age are or will be going through with their ex's and their children.
Before last Friday, the only things I would have changed about my life were the following 3 things:
1) Magically wake up about 80lbs thinner
2) Win an obscenely large lottery jackpot
3) Earn a living doing something I at least remotely enjoyed
The first 2 are obviously impossible so the question is, is this my chance at #3?
A couple years ago, I enrolled in a couple online courses at a major art school. It was a miracle that I finished the first semester without failing outright. Working full time (in a creatively stifling environment at least), taking care of 2 young children on my own, and taking 2 classes proved to be way more than I could handle (especially in the bad headspace I was stuck in at the time) so I haven't tried enrolling in any more classes since. Ultimately, I'd like to work in Animation/VFX. I haven't decided on a specific specialty yet but I know it is definitely something I would enjoy doing and it's something I've wanted to do since I was a little girl. I would also like to learn makeup artistry as a side. Miniature set building would also be pretty fantastic hehe.
There are so many creative things I know I could do, but I have no training and no hookups. I'm certainly in the right city for all these wonderfully creative occupations but how do I break in? And what's more, should I? Should I risk losing my meager unemployment benefits to take classes that maybe aren't approved by UI? If I do risk it, do I choose something smaller like cosmetology license and deal with unsteady work. Do I go to the local community college to rack up some unit/credit to go towards my degree later since I'd be able to afford it without filling out a FAFSA? Do I just go for it in a big way and go back to the art school? OR...do I make the same decision I made 11 years and 1 month ago and jump on the first decent paying accounts payable/receivable job I can find and waste another decade of my life doing something that I can't stand?
There's so many things that seem to be lining up right now and pointing me in the direction of a drastic career change but I'm just not sure which way to turn or where to start. I guess the point of this blog will be to help me figure it all out. In any case, this is week 1 of my unemployment and I guess, a midlife crossroads. Let's see what tomorrow brings...
The question is, what do I do now? I hate accounting. Always have, always will. But it's what I got stuck doing because it paid the bills. I started working full time in accounting the first Monday after my high school graduation and haven't deviated since. Well no, I take that back...I ran away to Illinois for a couple years after high school and worked front desk at a Holiday Inn in Elmhurst but it was still full time and I can safely say that I hated that even more than I hate accounting. When I came back to California, I returned to my previous employer and after a couple years they downsized and I found myself in the same position I'm in now, though I didn't have children then. It was the first time I'd even been without a job since graduating high school so I panicked and frantically searched for a new job in the same field despite the fact that I hated it. That's when I came across my last job and that's where I've been for over a decade.
It wasn't a bad place to work. For the most part I was left alone to do my job in peace and the people became extended family. I just didn't like the work. I'm a creative soul and without an outlet, it feels like something is missing. I used to do crafts and teach myself things like Photoshop, HTML, CSS, etc using free online resources in my free time (and yes, even on work time when I could get away with it hehe) but then I had kids and my free time was over. And my mind was now even more overly preoccupied with money to actually retain very much of what I was able to squeeze in at work. And since I left my kids' dad almost 4 years ago, I haven't had the time or the energy to do a single creative thing. Not a sketch, not an icon, not a thing.
At least I managed to find my soulmate hehe. He's perfect for me in every way and I adore him more and more every day. And my ex seems to have found his AND I like her haha. I trust her with my kids and we all have a very harmonious relationship in regards to the kids. And I can't tell you how much of a relief it is not to be going through the drama and the garbage that most people my age are or will be going through with their ex's and their children.
Before last Friday, the only things I would have changed about my life were the following 3 things:
1) Magically wake up about 80lbs thinner
2) Win an obscenely large lottery jackpot
3) Earn a living doing something I at least remotely enjoyed
The first 2 are obviously impossible so the question is, is this my chance at #3?
A couple years ago, I enrolled in a couple online courses at a major art school. It was a miracle that I finished the first semester without failing outright. Working full time (in a creatively stifling environment at least), taking care of 2 young children on my own, and taking 2 classes proved to be way more than I could handle (especially in the bad headspace I was stuck in at the time) so I haven't tried enrolling in any more classes since. Ultimately, I'd like to work in Animation/VFX. I haven't decided on a specific specialty yet but I know it is definitely something I would enjoy doing and it's something I've wanted to do since I was a little girl. I would also like to learn makeup artistry as a side. Miniature set building would also be pretty fantastic hehe.
There are so many creative things I know I could do, but I have no training and no hookups. I'm certainly in the right city for all these wonderfully creative occupations but how do I break in? And what's more, should I? Should I risk losing my meager unemployment benefits to take classes that maybe aren't approved by UI? If I do risk it, do I choose something smaller like cosmetology license and deal with unsteady work. Do I go to the local community college to rack up some unit/credit to go towards my degree later since I'd be able to afford it without filling out a FAFSA? Do I just go for it in a big way and go back to the art school? OR...do I make the same decision I made 11 years and 1 month ago and jump on the first decent paying accounts payable/receivable job I can find and waste another decade of my life doing something that I can't stand?
There's so many things that seem to be lining up right now and pointing me in the direction of a drastic career change but I'm just not sure which way to turn or where to start. I guess the point of this blog will be to help me figure it all out. In any case, this is week 1 of my unemployment and I guess, a midlife crossroads. Let's see what tomorrow brings...
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