I don't know what it is about getting a late start to the day that just throws everything totally off. I woke up late, the kids only just barely made it to school. Then I stopped to eat and wait for the bank to open since I got my first unemployment check over the weekend. I came back home and haven't done much since.
With the recent absence of the 11 year old routine of getting up and going to work on the other side of the valley every morning, I've developed a new routine over the past 3 weeks. By now I've had my tea, breakfast, the dishes washed, the bed made, emails checked, my Farmville farmed, and I've already been at Project Purge (and I know I still haven't explained, I was going to today but I really must get off the computer and get to the doing before the day is over) for at least a half hour. But here it is, lunch time, my fiance will be home from work soon, and I haven't even had my morning tea yet.
I'm going to go ahead and blame it on this nutty wind we're having today...if for no other reason than because the display and lights, on my cable box and router were flashing and blinking in an extremely weird twitchy way when I got home from the bank. Every thing else was ok but the tv said there was some sort of power outage. I think I'm having a bit of a power outage today too...too bad I don't have a reboot procedure like they do. Hmmmmn I wonder if I have the tea now, will it help?
Eh, tomorrow will be better. I hope.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Purple, just because...
BeneThese are the pictures from the last post that I finally got around to posting.
I had the impulse to play with makeup the other night, as I often do. And I indulged the impulse, as I too often don't. I felt like using some dark and vivid purple because I rarely have occasion to wear it. Despite being a makeup addict, I am not now nor have I ever been, the type that goes out of her way to wear makeup every single day. In fact, I haven't worn makeup daily since the late 90's. I only wear it when I'm going out with my fiance, parties, special occasions, etc. There have been months at a time where I went without anything other than chapstick haha. Yet here I sit with a fairly massive collection of makeup...especially eyeshadow, my grand weakness. It's so terribly hard to resist the magnetic pull of the colors. All laid out so pretty and inviting, just waiting for you to swatch them on your wrist and realize you can't walk away without at least one. Uhhg, it's so that I literally can't go near one of my usual makeup haunts unless I've got a little spare cash or I've got empty eyeshadow pots to trade in for free stuff.
Anyways, back to the look of the day. The pictures are not great. I'm hardly a photographer and my camera is old by new tech standards. I did this at night so the lighting was bad, and I was cooking dinner so I blurred the sweat off my face with Photoshop in the last 2 pictures haha. It was prettier than it looks here since the colors are not all that distinguishable in the pictures.
In case any other makeup fiends, geeks, and addicts come across my humble little blog, and happen to be curious...the products used are as follows:
Face
Foundation: Bare Minerals 2G Golden Medium Matte
MAC Blush: Coppertone and Peaches
Highlight: NARS Illuminator in Orgasm
All over: MAC Fix+ Spray
Eyes
Base: MAC Greasepaint Stick B & NYX Jumbo ES Pencil in Milk
MAC Pigments: Heritage Rouge, Push the Edge, Cornflower Blue, Full Force Violet, and Grape
MAC ES: Manila Paper, Samoa Silk, and Off the Page
Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliners: Zero and Rockstar
Lashes: MAC Prep+Prime Lash, Blinc tube mascara, and a half set of (brand unknown) falsies applied with Duo darktone glue
Lips
Benefit lipstick: I do, I do, I do
MAC Lipglass: Gold Rebel
And that's it for makeup talk babble. I have another regular update post but I will save it for tomorrow I thinkg and go do some more damage on Project Purge...will explain later =)
I had the impulse to play with makeup the other night, as I often do. And I indulged the impulse, as I too often don't. I felt like using some dark and vivid purple because I rarely have occasion to wear it. Despite being a makeup addict, I am not now nor have I ever been, the type that goes out of her way to wear makeup every single day. In fact, I haven't worn makeup daily since the late 90's. I only wear it when I'm going out with my fiance, parties, special occasions, etc. There have been months at a time where I went without anything other than chapstick haha. Yet here I sit with a fairly massive collection of makeup...especially eyeshadow, my grand weakness. It's so terribly hard to resist the magnetic pull of the colors. All laid out so pretty and inviting, just waiting for you to swatch them on your wrist and realize you can't walk away without at least one. Uhhg, it's so that I literally can't go near one of my usual makeup haunts unless I've got a little spare cash or I've got empty eyeshadow pots to trade in for free stuff.
Anyways, back to the look of the day. The pictures are not great. I'm hardly a photographer and my camera is old by new tech standards. I did this at night so the lighting was bad, and I was cooking dinner so I blurred the sweat off my face with Photoshop in the last 2 pictures haha. It was prettier than it looks here since the colors are not all that distinguishable in the pictures.
In case any other makeup fiends, geeks, and addicts come across my humble little blog, and happen to be curious...the products used are as follows:
Face
Foundation: Bare Minerals 2G Golden Medium Matte
MAC Blush: Coppertone and Peaches
Highlight: NARS Illuminator in Orgasm
All over: MAC Fix+ Spray
Eyes
Base: MAC Greasepaint Stick B & NYX Jumbo ES Pencil in Milk
MAC Pigments: Heritage Rouge, Push the Edge, Cornflower Blue, Full Force Violet, and Grape
MAC ES: Manila Paper, Samoa Silk, and Off the Page
Urban Decay 24/7 eyeliners: Zero and Rockstar
Lashes: MAC Prep+Prime Lash, Blinc tube mascara, and a half set of (brand unknown) falsies applied with Duo darktone glue
Lips
Benefit lipstick: I do, I do, I do
MAC Lipglass: Gold Rebel
And that's it for makeup talk babble. I have another regular update post but I will save it for tomorrow I thinkg and go do some more damage on Project Purge...will explain later =)
Monday, October 11, 2010
Still a little haunted
It's been 10 days now and I'm still not quite used to this. Last night I had a weird dream that I was still sneaking into work. I managed to hoard reports and things off my desk that I was responsible for, in a back store room. Nobody knew I was in there and I was afraid to come out lest someone should see me and pity me. And then suddenly I gathered my courage and ran out the door leaving it all behind. It felt pretty liberating in the dream but when I woke up, I felt disturbed that I should still over a week later, be having dreams about it. But then again, 11 years is a damned long time to work somewhere and there were several people I didn't get a chance to say goodbye to, so I guess it's not so abnormal that I haven't completely emotionally let go of that place or my former duties there. And it's just weird altogether to be home and actually have time on my hands...I haven't taken a proper vacation in, ever. I've had a week off to go visit family in Miami during the holidays before, but I don't count that because it's always with my parents, the kids, and about 10 times the stress I normally had staying home. Plus, it's been like 4 years since the last time. I've never been able to take off and just go somewhere pretty to disconnect for a week. The closest I've come to that is ComicCon '07 & '08 and that's only because the kids didn't go with me. This feels like I'm on maternity leave again but I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I'm not going back in a couple months this time. That and, I'm definitely not pregnant right now haha.
It's just odd and I'm trying to stay busy while struggling to get used to this abstract concept of "free time". I'm wondering when the novelty will wear off. Last week, I obsessively cleaned my kitchen and the boys' bedroom. This week I plan on tackling some still unpacked boxes that I never got around to since my move in March, my fiance's stuff which I also still haven't gotten around to finding a place for since August, and my desk which is as always, a general disaster area. I'm definitely taking some hard earned me time to sort out all the crap that I never got around to doing while I had a job, so that I can actually do the things I enjoy like reading, crafts, graphics, etc, guilt free. It wasn't completely guilt free yet because there are many other things that still need doing before I'm satisfied with the state of my home but, I played with my make up last night and did a pretty dark purple look using mostly MAC pigments. I took pictures but I don't have time to see if any of them are usable right now so that will be a post for later.
In the meantime, not much else of note has happened yet. I received my first continued claim form...it's not to be mailed back until the 17th which means I probably won't see my first UI check till the end of next week, oh joy. I still haven't received my severance check yet so I'll have to make a phone call if it doesn't come by tomorrow since the "...before the 8th day..." period since I signed the agreement has officially lapsed. I did my mandatory registration with CalJobs and found a perfect graphic design internship but I don't meet the qualifications because even though I'm enrolled in Art School, I'm not currently taking any classes and I can't take any classes until I find out whether it puts my UI at risk or not to do so. Plus, I'm familiar with Photoshop but Illustrator is still weird to me. I have it but I haven't played with it much and the internship stated experience with it as a requirement...right now I'm not even all that confident in my Photoshop skills since I haven't touched it in 3 years. I need to get this place cleaned up so I can give myself a thorough refresher on everything before claiming to have experience with any of it on an actual job/internship interview.
Aaaaaaaand that's it I think. I'll be back to babble some more when something actually happens. Or when I'm feeling chatty again, whichever comes first hehe. I'll also finish setting up my blogger profile and arranging things as I have time...it's driving me nuts not having it all customized already haha.
It's just odd and I'm trying to stay busy while struggling to get used to this abstract concept of "free time". I'm wondering when the novelty will wear off. Last week, I obsessively cleaned my kitchen and the boys' bedroom. This week I plan on tackling some still unpacked boxes that I never got around to since my move in March, my fiance's stuff which I also still haven't gotten around to finding a place for since August, and my desk which is as always, a general disaster area. I'm definitely taking some hard earned me time to sort out all the crap that I never got around to doing while I had a job, so that I can actually do the things I enjoy like reading, crafts, graphics, etc, guilt free. It wasn't completely guilt free yet because there are many other things that still need doing before I'm satisfied with the state of my home but, I played with my make up last night and did a pretty dark purple look using mostly MAC pigments. I took pictures but I don't have time to see if any of them are usable right now so that will be a post for later.
In the meantime, not much else of note has happened yet. I received my first continued claim form...it's not to be mailed back until the 17th which means I probably won't see my first UI check till the end of next week, oh joy. I still haven't received my severance check yet so I'll have to make a phone call if it doesn't come by tomorrow since the "...before the 8th day..." period since I signed the agreement has officially lapsed. I did my mandatory registration with CalJobs and found a perfect graphic design internship but I don't meet the qualifications because even though I'm enrolled in Art School, I'm not currently taking any classes and I can't take any classes until I find out whether it puts my UI at risk or not to do so. Plus, I'm familiar with Photoshop but Illustrator is still weird to me. I have it but I haven't played with it much and the internship stated experience with it as a requirement...right now I'm not even all that confident in my Photoshop skills since I haven't touched it in 3 years. I need to get this place cleaned up so I can give myself a thorough refresher on everything before claiming to have experience with any of it on an actual job/internship interview.
Aaaaaaaand that's it I think. I'll be back to babble some more when something actually happens. Or when I'm feeling chatty again, whichever comes first hehe. I'll also finish setting up my blogger profile and arranging things as I have time...it's driving me nuts not having it all customized already haha.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Ok, so now what?
It's been the question of the week. Exactly one week ago today, I got laid off of a job I'd had for the last 11 years and 1 month. Right about this time last week, I was laid out on the couch with a migraine so severe I couldn't keep water down, trying to recover from the shock. In a way, I saw it coming. The small family owned company I worked for was purchased by a much larger billion dollar company. They promised nothing would change and big surprise, they lied. Working in accounts payable/receivable, naturally mine would be the first position to be taken over by someone (getting paid much less I'm sure) located in another small facility that will within 2 years, slowly absorb the company I worked for completely.
The question is, what do I do now? I hate accounting. Always have, always will. But it's what I got stuck doing because it paid the bills. I started working full time in accounting the first Monday after my high school graduation and haven't deviated since. Well no, I take that back...I ran away to Illinois for a couple years after high school and worked front desk at a Holiday Inn in Elmhurst but it was still full time and I can safely say that I hated that even more than I hate accounting. When I came back to California, I returned to my previous employer and after a couple years they downsized and I found myself in the same position I'm in now, though I didn't have children then. It was the first time I'd even been without a job since graduating high school so I panicked and frantically searched for a new job in the same field despite the fact that I hated it. That's when I came across my last job and that's where I've been for over a decade.
It wasn't a bad place to work. For the most part I was left alone to do my job in peace and the people became extended family. I just didn't like the work. I'm a creative soul and without an outlet, it feels like something is missing. I used to do crafts and teach myself things like Photoshop, HTML, CSS, etc using free online resources in my free time (and yes, even on work time when I could get away with it hehe) but then I had kids and my free time was over. And my mind was now even more overly preoccupied with money to actually retain very much of what I was able to squeeze in at work. And since I left my kids' dad almost 4 years ago, I haven't had the time or the energy to do a single creative thing. Not a sketch, not an icon, not a thing.
At least I managed to find my soulmate hehe. He's perfect for me in every way and I adore him more and more every day. And my ex seems to have found his AND I like her haha. I trust her with my kids and we all have a very harmonious relationship in regards to the kids. And I can't tell you how much of a relief it is not to be going through the drama and the garbage that most people my age are or will be going through with their ex's and their children.
Before last Friday, the only things I would have changed about my life were the following 3 things:
1) Magically wake up about 80lbs thinner
2) Win an obscenely large lottery jackpot
3) Earn a living doing something I at least remotely enjoyed
The first 2 are obviously impossible so the question is, is this my chance at #3?
A couple years ago, I enrolled in a couple online courses at a major art school. It was a miracle that I finished the first semester without failing outright. Working full time (in a creatively stifling environment at least), taking care of 2 young children on my own, and taking 2 classes proved to be way more than I could handle (especially in the bad headspace I was stuck in at the time) so I haven't tried enrolling in any more classes since. Ultimately, I'd like to work in Animation/VFX. I haven't decided on a specific specialty yet but I know it is definitely something I would enjoy doing and it's something I've wanted to do since I was a little girl. I would also like to learn makeup artistry as a side. Miniature set building would also be pretty fantastic hehe.
There are so many creative things I know I could do, but I have no training and no hookups. I'm certainly in the right city for all these wonderfully creative occupations but how do I break in? And what's more, should I? Should I risk losing my meager unemployment benefits to take classes that maybe aren't approved by UI? If I do risk it, do I choose something smaller like cosmetology license and deal with unsteady work. Do I go to the local community college to rack up some unit/credit to go towards my degree later since I'd be able to afford it without filling out a FAFSA? Do I just go for it in a big way and go back to the art school? OR...do I make the same decision I made 11 years and 1 month ago and jump on the first decent paying accounts payable/receivable job I can find and waste another decade of my life doing something that I can't stand?
There's so many things that seem to be lining up right now and pointing me in the direction of a drastic career change but I'm just not sure which way to turn or where to start. I guess the point of this blog will be to help me figure it all out. In any case, this is week 1 of my unemployment and I guess, a midlife crossroads. Let's see what tomorrow brings...
The question is, what do I do now? I hate accounting. Always have, always will. But it's what I got stuck doing because it paid the bills. I started working full time in accounting the first Monday after my high school graduation and haven't deviated since. Well no, I take that back...I ran away to Illinois for a couple years after high school and worked front desk at a Holiday Inn in Elmhurst but it was still full time and I can safely say that I hated that even more than I hate accounting. When I came back to California, I returned to my previous employer and after a couple years they downsized and I found myself in the same position I'm in now, though I didn't have children then. It was the first time I'd even been without a job since graduating high school so I panicked and frantically searched for a new job in the same field despite the fact that I hated it. That's when I came across my last job and that's where I've been for over a decade.
It wasn't a bad place to work. For the most part I was left alone to do my job in peace and the people became extended family. I just didn't like the work. I'm a creative soul and without an outlet, it feels like something is missing. I used to do crafts and teach myself things like Photoshop, HTML, CSS, etc using free online resources in my free time (and yes, even on work time when I could get away with it hehe) but then I had kids and my free time was over. And my mind was now even more overly preoccupied with money to actually retain very much of what I was able to squeeze in at work. And since I left my kids' dad almost 4 years ago, I haven't had the time or the energy to do a single creative thing. Not a sketch, not an icon, not a thing.
At least I managed to find my soulmate hehe. He's perfect for me in every way and I adore him more and more every day. And my ex seems to have found his AND I like her haha. I trust her with my kids and we all have a very harmonious relationship in regards to the kids. And I can't tell you how much of a relief it is not to be going through the drama and the garbage that most people my age are or will be going through with their ex's and their children.
Before last Friday, the only things I would have changed about my life were the following 3 things:
1) Magically wake up about 80lbs thinner
2) Win an obscenely large lottery jackpot
3) Earn a living doing something I at least remotely enjoyed
The first 2 are obviously impossible so the question is, is this my chance at #3?
A couple years ago, I enrolled in a couple online courses at a major art school. It was a miracle that I finished the first semester without failing outright. Working full time (in a creatively stifling environment at least), taking care of 2 young children on my own, and taking 2 classes proved to be way more than I could handle (especially in the bad headspace I was stuck in at the time) so I haven't tried enrolling in any more classes since. Ultimately, I'd like to work in Animation/VFX. I haven't decided on a specific specialty yet but I know it is definitely something I would enjoy doing and it's something I've wanted to do since I was a little girl. I would also like to learn makeup artistry as a side. Miniature set building would also be pretty fantastic hehe.
There are so many creative things I know I could do, but I have no training and no hookups. I'm certainly in the right city for all these wonderfully creative occupations but how do I break in? And what's more, should I? Should I risk losing my meager unemployment benefits to take classes that maybe aren't approved by UI? If I do risk it, do I choose something smaller like cosmetology license and deal with unsteady work. Do I go to the local community college to rack up some unit/credit to go towards my degree later since I'd be able to afford it without filling out a FAFSA? Do I just go for it in a big way and go back to the art school? OR...do I make the same decision I made 11 years and 1 month ago and jump on the first decent paying accounts payable/receivable job I can find and waste another decade of my life doing something that I can't stand?
There's so many things that seem to be lining up right now and pointing me in the direction of a drastic career change but I'm just not sure which way to turn or where to start. I guess the point of this blog will be to help me figure it all out. In any case, this is week 1 of my unemployment and I guess, a midlife crossroads. Let's see what tomorrow brings...
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