It's been the question of the week. Exactly one week ago today, I got laid off of a job I'd had for the last 11 years and 1 month. Right about this time last week, I was laid out on the couch with a migraine so severe I couldn't keep water down, trying to recover from the shock. In a way, I saw it coming. The small family owned company I worked for was purchased by a much larger billion dollar company. They promised nothing would change and big surprise, they lied. Working in accounts payable/receivable, naturally mine would be the first position to be taken over by someone (getting paid much less I'm sure) located in another small facility that will within 2 years, slowly absorb the company I worked for completely.
The question is, what do I do now? I hate accounting. Always have, always will. But it's what I got stuck doing because it paid the bills. I started working full time in accounting the first Monday after my high school graduation and haven't deviated since. Well no, I take that back...I ran away to Illinois for a couple years after high school and worked front desk at a Holiday Inn in Elmhurst but it was still full time and I can safely say that I hated that even more than I hate accounting. When I came back to California, I returned to my previous employer and after a couple years they downsized and I found myself in the same position I'm in now, though I didn't have children then. It was the first time I'd even been without a job since graduating high school so I panicked and frantically searched for a new job in the same field despite the fact that I hated it. That's when I came across my last job and that's where I've been for over a decade.
It wasn't a bad place to work. For the most part I was left alone to do my job in peace and the people became extended family. I just didn't like the work. I'm a creative soul and without an outlet, it feels like something is missing. I used to do crafts and teach myself things like Photoshop, HTML, CSS, etc using free online resources in my free time (and yes, even on work time when I could get away with it hehe) but then I had kids and my free time was over. And my mind was now even more overly preoccupied with money to actually retain very much of what I was able to squeeze in at work. And since I left my kids' dad almost 4 years ago, I haven't had the time or the energy to do a single creative thing. Not a sketch, not an icon, not a thing.
At least I managed to find my soulmate hehe. He's perfect for me in every way and I adore him more and more every day. And my ex seems to have found his AND I like her haha. I trust her with my kids and we all have a very harmonious relationship in regards to the kids. And I can't tell you how much of a relief it is not to be going through the drama and the garbage that most people my age are or will be going through with their ex's and their children.
Before last Friday, the only things I would have changed about my life were the following 3 things:
1) Magically wake up about 80lbs thinner
2) Win an obscenely large lottery jackpot
3) Earn a living doing something I at least remotely enjoyed
The first 2 are obviously impossible so the question is, is this my chance at #3?
A couple years ago, I enrolled in a couple online courses at a major art school. It was a miracle that I finished the first semester without failing outright. Working full time (in a creatively stifling environment at least), taking care of 2 young children on my own, and taking 2 classes proved to be way more than I could handle (especially in the bad headspace I was stuck in at the time) so I haven't tried enrolling in any more classes since. Ultimately, I'd like to work in Animation/VFX. I haven't decided on a specific specialty yet but I know it is definitely something I would enjoy doing and it's something I've wanted to do since I was a little girl. I would also like to learn makeup artistry as a side. Miniature set building would also be pretty fantastic hehe.
There are so many creative things I know I could do, but I have no training and no hookups. I'm certainly in the right city for all these wonderfully creative occupations but how do I break in? And what's more, should I? Should I risk losing my meager unemployment benefits to take classes that maybe aren't approved by UI? If I do risk it, do I choose something smaller like cosmetology license and deal with unsteady work. Do I go to the local community college to rack up some unit/credit to go towards my degree later since I'd be able to afford it without filling out a FAFSA? Do I just go for it in a big way and go back to the art school? OR...do I make the same decision I made 11 years and 1 month ago and jump on the first decent paying accounts payable/receivable job I can find and waste another decade of my life doing something that I can't stand?
There's so many things that seem to be lining up right now and pointing me in the direction of a drastic career change but I'm just not sure which way to turn or where to start. I guess the point of this blog will be to help me figure it all out. In any case, this is week 1 of my unemployment and I guess, a midlife crossroads. Let's see what tomorrow brings...
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